Sometimes an impulsive haircut is exactly what you need
The moment I walked out of my event at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe last month, I had the thought: I want to chop my hair. The urge felt primal, but it was also practical. I’d spent nearly an hour in my hotel room that afternoon trying to get my long, wavy hair to comply with my agenda, only to have it fall completely flat in the 108-degree Phoenix heat. I wanted to feel cooler and lighter (literally and figuratively). I fantasized about not having to brush my hair or blow dry it every day.
On my plane ride home, I scrolled through images on Pinterest. Layered bobs — textured, wild, liberated. Razor-cut looks that resembled mullets. Blunt, sleek bobs. Shoulder-length styles with curtain bangs. I stumbled on a style some are calling the “bisexual bob,” beautiful and messy, in between the chin and shoulder. Ok, I thought, I’m down for this brand of rebellion.
I realized what I was craving was not so much a look, but a feeling. Lightness. Freedom. Authenticity. Maybe a bit of unraveling, which is what I’ve done in the wake of my book launch. After so many years of working toward one monumental goal, I’m ready to collapse, regroup, maybe stop working quite so hard.
What I also wanted was an outward expression of the liberation I experienced in telling such a personal story — one that I was threatened repeatedly as a kid not to speak about.
Hairstyle as punctuation mark, a quote or an exclamation point.
I left a not-small pile of hair on the floor of the salon, and I couldn’t be happier. If you need someone to tell you to do the thing — chop your hair, get a tattoo, cut bangs, quit your job — I’m in that kind of mood these days. Just reply to this email or leave a comment and I’ll cheer you on.
Upcoming Appearances
Book tour might be over, but I’m still out and about, doing podcast interviews, writing articles, and teaching a few classes. Here’s where to find me:
While I was in Phoenix, Nora McInerny and I recorded a conversation for her podcast and YouTube channel, Feelings & Co. It should go live sometime in the coming weeks. Subscribe so you don’t miss it.
My latest column for Psychology Today discusses the long-term effects of having been parentified as a child (one of the themes in my memoir), and steps you can take to heal.
Save the Date: Saturday, November 16th: I’m teaching a webinar for Writer’s Digest on “Making the Personal Universal” or how to share your personal stories in such a way that they resonate with a large audience.
I enjoyed talking with Kris Clink for The Writing Table Podcast
Review requests are annoying. And yet…
Yes, I know half your email inbox is requests from companies for product reviews. I hate it too. But of course, when I’m shopping for clothes or skincare or books, the first thing I look at is the reviews. I want to see social proof before I consume anything.
Here’s the thing. Book reviews are a BIG, BIG deal to authors and readers, especially at this time of year when websites are rounding up the most popular books of 2024. Leaving a review really does help new readers find my book and keep it near the top of search engines. If you haven’t already, please leave some stars or share your thoughts about Forces of Nature. (I have a goal to reach 50 reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, and I’m getting close)
I also love when people tag me on social media and share their favorite passage or photo of the book. It means so much to see all the ways this story is impacting readers nationwide.
What I’m Currently Reading:
Thank you friend! Your hair is amazing.