Patience is a muscle we have to flex
on snowstorms, book events, and embracing an imagined future
I’m writing this from inside a snow globe. Here in Colorado, we’re halfway through an epic winter storm that’s dumping upwards of two feet of snow. The lights are flickering. The kids are home from school, eating pie for breakfast (because it’s also Pi Day, my son’s favorite holiday). Businesses and schools shut down. Highways are closed. Life is suddenly quiet and delightfully slow as we watch and wait for whatever might happen next.
This storm feels like the quiet before another storm: my book launch (9 weeks away, but who’s counting?). Life is about to get very, very busy. But for now, I’m enjoying the wait. There’s a quiet anticipation, the unique energy of being on the cusp of something. It’s the excitement of an imagined future.
Maybe you’ve been here before, waiting for something exciting to happen – a graduation, wedding, new baby, new job, vacation (or even waiting for the power to come back on!)
When I was younger, the runway leading up to big life events felt like a guitar string slowly being tightened and plucked. I worried a lot. What if the event didn’t live up to the hype?
Now, in my 40s, I know that an imagined future rarely aligns with reality (this is true for imagined disasters too). And that realization has been liberating. I feel free to enjoy the anticipation for what it is without putting too much pressure on myself. I’m calm. Curious. Less attached to outcomes. I trust my future self to handle it.
From the early days of writing this book, I had a vision of wrapping my story up, putting it into a little handmade boat and floating it down a river, trusting it would reach the people it was meant to reach along the shores. At this moment, my hand is on the stern. I can feel the current tugging at it, and I’m letting go.
I don’t mean to imply that any of this has been easy. It’s just that I’ve had a lot of practice sitting in the unknowns.
All that said, if you want to get better at waiting, here are a few everyday activities I recommend. Think of it as training your patience muscle:
Bake something. Nothing quite trains you for the cycle of work/patience/reward like baking a dessert. Bonus points if you choose to bake something ambitious that might not turn out okay (think: macarons, cream puffs, or layer cake).
Apply or try out for something. A job. An award. A spot on your town’s pickleball league. Putting yourself out there and then waiting for a response is excruciating. And if you get rejected, it’s also great practice in taking things less personally and trying again. (Experts call this “distancing your self-worth from the outcome.”) Remind yourself that people less qualified than you boldly go after what they want all. the. time. Why not you?
Ride a roller coaster. Snaking through the line at an amusement park is its own exercise in patience. But so is the ride itself. Think about it: Would the drops be as thrilling without the slow, tense, noisy climb to the top of the first hill?
Go to a laundromat. Recently, I was reminded of how it feels to wait for a public washing machine to become available, then wait for your clothes to finish so you can move them to a dryer, then wait for them to dry so you can fold them and take them home. Instead of getting impatient, I read a book. The hum of the machines was a soothing white noise.
Vote. (Truthfully, I don’t feel calm about this year’s election or the state of the world. Contacting my reps and voting eases the anxiety a tiiiiny bit)
Finally, if you want to join me in the anticipation, here are a few upcoming events to put on your calendar.
FORCES OF NATURE Book Tour:
Tuesday May 14th 6:30 pm: Join me at Boulder Bookstore for a special launch event! I’ll be talking about Forces of Nature with author Kat Sleadd.
Saturday May 18th: Private launch party // Lafayette, CO.
Monday May 20th 7:00 pm: Eagle Eye Book Shop // Decatur, GA. I’ll be in conversation with author and podcaster Sally Brooks.
June 12th: Lit Fest // Denver, CO. Writers! I’m teaching a craft seminar called “I'll Follow You Into the Dark: Letting the Unknown Drive Your Personal Narrative” on Wednesday, June 12, from 1:30 to 3:30 PM MDT. Space is limited. Sign up through Lighthouse.
These are all great tips. I have many happy memories of the laundromat from when I was in college. It was pre-smartphone, so I was forced to sit around and read a magazine while I waited. Only downside is one of my socks would inevitably get stuck in the back of the dryer. I had to go back a few times to retrieve it.
Waiting for lost socks to reunite is another form of patience!